Voicething's Official Top 10 Monster High Dolls of 2013

It's that time of year again, folks! Twinkling lights are casting their glow from houses lining the streets and the Muzak version of Happy Xmas (War Is Over) is echoing through tinny speakers as I walk the aisles of Kmart. (Oh irony, you're a beautiful and tragic thing.) Christmas is nearly here, signaling not just a grumpy John (what can I say, I'm a bit of a Scrooge), but also that 2013 has almost come to an end. But it's not all gloom and doom here at Voicething. Christmas time also marks the season of countdowns, and 'round here that means I get to take a look back at a full twelve months of doll releases, judging every single doll Mattel put out, then ranking them. (Judging and ranking are two of my favorite things to do!)

This has been an interesting year for Monster High. This time last year we were wallowing in the glory that was Scaris: City of Frights and Picture Day. Well, maybe you weren't but I certainly was. From that vantage point 2013 looked boundless in possibilities; Mattel was at a creative high point and the year hadn't even officially begun. Now that the dust has settled, my feelings on MH 2013 are a little more measured. The mid-year releases seemed to sag a little creatively, especially 13 Wishes, which for me was a mixed bag at best. But most damning was Mattel's quality control standards. By mid-year they had dropped precipitously, with wonk eye at an all-time high and thin or improper hair rooting becoming more and more of a problem. Compounding things was the fact that characters whose dolls used to be "old standbys" in regards to consistent quality saw serious problems with oddly shaped eyes that went beyond wonk eye. Although no character was off limits, Cleo, Frankie, and Ghoulia seemed the hardest hit by this epidemic. Interesting indeed.

Before you go accusing me of being too negative, I have to point out that I had a really hard time compiling this year's list. Mattel released more MH dolls than ever before in 2013, and despite the mid-year lag I still had some tough choices to make in regards to what I felt were the best dolls. Some of the cuts I had to make were truly painful. (Sorry Bloodgood, you're a really cool doll but you just aren't top ten material.) The same rules as last year were applied for this year's list. Only dolls scheduled for 2013 release were considered. This means lines that we already have on shelves like Frights Camera Action! and New Scaremester aren't eligible -- they'll be on next year's list. Also, even though I've come around to appreciating the MH male dolls, they still weren't considered. Truth be told, Heath would've been the only one who had a chance, and he still wouldn't have made the list anyway. Just like last year I've included my additional 11-20 dolls, but this year I decided to officially rank them. Let's get started!

20. Clawdeen Wolf -- Skultimate Roller Maze

19. Rochelle Goyle -- Dance Class

18. Operetta -- Picture Day

17. Spectra Vondergeist -- Ghouls Night Out

16. Frankie Stein as Voltageous -- Power Ghouls

15. Operetta -- Diener Playset

14. Frankie Stein -- Scaris: City of Frights

13. Catrine DeMew -- Scaris: City of Frights

12. Clawdeen Wolf -- I Love Fashion

11. Abbey Bominable -- Picture Day

10. Spectra Vondergeist -- 13 Wishes/Party Lounge Playset

2013 was a great year for Spectra. She saw more doll releases than ever, and even got a bedroom playset. For me the best of this year's bunch was this doll (whom I've affectionately dubbed DJ Spectra), a rather simplistic take on the character compared to her other releases. For starters, she has the "old" facemold, which will always trump the new one no matter what accoutrements a doll comes with. That said, her wavy, middle-parted hair is a huge plus. Combined with her Bollywood-style top it gives her a strong retro vibe. Better still is the sleek minidress she wears underneath. On another note, I'm noticing more and more that when it comes to MH, I don't care all that much about character placement and canon compared to other fans. Many cried afoul that Spectra was included with this music themed playset instead of a specifically music themed character like Holt or Operetta. Me? Eh, whatever. They could've included Cupid or Bloodgood or whatever random character with this playset for all I care. If I like a doll I'm getting it and if I don't I'm not. It's really all about the quality of the actual dolls more than what fits "canon" for me.

9. Catty Noir

Released as a special Friday the 13th offshoot of the Ghouls Night Out line, Catty is pretty much her own thing. She makes for an interesting contrast with the typical "deluxe" Draculaura doll, seeing as she's just as loaded down with sparkles and glitter and pink. But while deluxe Ula dolls never work for me, Catty left me stunned. Perhaps it's her "unlucky thirteen" theme giving her an edge, or maybe I just prefer my sparkly pink to come with a knowing wink. Whatever the case, Catty makes this costume-y look work. Her wild eyes and jet black skin tone combine with her gaudy outfit to give her a boldness that quite literally shines. Her hair texture isn't perfect but it's extra-long and thick and fun to play with so I'm down. She's loaded with personality and, in my opinion, exemplifies what a pink-laden modern playline doll should be.

8. Lagoona Blue -- 13 Wishes

For as many things as Mattel gets wrong with MH I really do think they're pretty self-aware. Or they at least occasionally do actually listen to fans. Too often Lagoona's dolls are called samey, and while I love her to death, I don't disagree. Maybe those accusations are what lead to this doll. She's easily the most unique Lagoona doll they've made. Her loud colors mean the fan base is pretty split on this one -- you either love her or hate her. Clearly I fall on the side of love; in fact, this is my favorite doll from the entire line. (Sorry, Twyla and Gigi.)

7. Cleo DeNile -- Scaris: City of Frights

2013 was a rough year for Cleo fans. Well, it was for this Cleo fan, anyway. Truth be told, with the exception of Scaris, every Cleo doll this year disappointed me in one way or another. For the most part it was the weird change in the shape of her eyes that left me cold. Luckily they nailed it with the Scaris doll. Simple but stylish outfit, great hair, and a bright faceup all contribute to making this doll one of the year's best. But ultimately there's just something intangibly "right" about this doll. She's captivated me since I got her early in the year, and I don't see that going away anytime soon. In a sea of "Cleo disappointment" she was a shining beacon; hopefully this is the doll Mattel looks to as they continue future designs for this character.

6. Toralei Stripe as Cat Tastrophe -- Power Ghouls

Last year I broke my own rule, including Toralei's basic doll in my top ten even though she was technically a 2011 doll. I even placed her at number two on the list. Clearly I love me some Toralei! It took a while but we finally got a proper second doll (I don't count the 3-pack one), and she doesn't disappoint. Being part of the Power Ghouls line puts her at a great advantage considering it's one of the best lines we've ever gotten for MH. She comes in a beautifully designed box and includes a comic book, and thanks to the superhero setup her natural villainy is amplified. What's not to love? Her retro bodysuit and 60's 'do fit her like a glove both literally and figuratively, and if you can find one with good eyes, you've got what is basically a perfect doll on your hands. What a wonderful world it would be if every MH doll was this creatively designed.

5. Rochelle Goyle -- Swim 2013

Hmm, I seem to be picking up on some subtle consternation coming from you. Yes, I know this time last year I was all but throwing daily celebrations in honor of Rochelle's Scaris doll, who's not to be seen anywhere on this list. And yes, I know this doll is ridiculously basic, even for a swim line. In regards to the first point, what can I say, I changed my mind. And to the second point -- do I even have to say it? (Less is more and blah blah blah shut up, John!) While Swim Rochelle's outfit and extras may be simple they're also exceedingly cute (especially those sunglasses). Her faceup barely deviates from her signature doll's face at all. (It's a near carbon copy, actually.) The real strength of this doll, the one thing that landed her on this list really, is that hairstyle. It's just so perfect for this character: stylish and chic, without being fussy or requiring a lot of upkeep. It feels completely natural on her; it's pure "Rochelle". I actually like that her faceup is so similar to the basic doll's because now I can put Swim Rochelle in the basic outfit and safely consider her a worthy replacement for that doll. This is my favorite version of a character that I adore. In my heart, this is signature Rochelle.

4. Skelita Calaveras -- Scaris: City of Frights

Skelita is unarguably one of the best dolls Mattel has ever created. Her unique skeletal structure is a marvel. But beyond that, what I love about Skelita is the personality that radiates from that beautiful face of hers. She's funny, cute, and awkward all at the same time. It's very endearing. Her Mexican heritage was cleverly incorporated into her design, further emphasizing her ties to one of MH's best lines to date. As I said in my review of this doll, Skelita is what we get when Mattel is firing on all cylinders.

3. Scarah Screams -- I Love Fashion

We knew this doll would be a winner the moment we learned she was part of the I Love Fashion line. What with it's emphasis on great clothes and uniquely designed dolls, it's become a favorite among MH fanatics. Scarah has a couple more things working in her favor, as well. First, she's a mod girl so her clothes were destined to be great. (Good Lord, that midi coat is still blowing my mind!) Second, thanks to her hollow banshee eyes, she's one of the creepiest MH dolls yet. As far as general eeriness goes she gives Spectra a run for her money. Scarah is simply a great character; she's retro and weird and creepy, and thereby intrinsically cool. She's pure MH and I'm eagerly looking forward to more dolls of her.

2. Clawdeen Wolf -- Scaris: City of Frights

From the very beginning, Clawdeen has been pitched as the fashionista of Monster High. But too often her supposed stylishness has come across as more loud than fashionable. Not so here. Scaris Clawdeen is chic and sexy, with an emphasis put on lux textures and rich colors. Her faceup best carries the intensity of the silver eyeshadow we saw on all the Scaris dolls. And while her hair texture wasn't the best, over time it has relaxed into a wonderful mild wave that perfectly frames her face, accentuating those striking eyes. Over the years we've seen a plethora of Clawdeen dolls, and I love a lot of them, but this one is by far my favorite. Period.

1. Jinafire Long -- Scaris: City of Frights

We continue to number one with yet another Scaris doll. (Um, surprise?) The simple fact of the matter is that Scaris stands alongside School's Out as my all-time favorite MH line. And with Jinafire being my favorite doll of one of my favorite lines, it's hardly surprising she's number one, is it? I feel she deserves it. Jina joins Skelita as one of Mattel's most creatively designed dolls, a true high point for the entire line. It doesn't hurt that she's absolutely gorgeous, with fierce, dragon eyes, an elaborate headpiece that holds wonderfully textured hair, and a beautiful dress that reads as formal without feeling costume-y in the least. Her elaborate setup within the Scaris storyline doesn't hurt, nor do her glowing skin and dragon-inspired body mods. Basically, Jinafire is a collector's doll pretending to be playline. I don't know that Mattel will ever outdo this doll in terms of pure creativity, beauty, and uniqueness. She's the whole package, and it was delivered perfectly.

Unicorn Ula is real!; or, Art Class Draculaura Appreciation

You may remember a few days ago that I referred to Art Class Draculaura as Unicorn Ula. It was a joke meant to emphasize that this particular Ula is indeed something special. Unfortunately, the pics in that earlier post didn't come anywhere near capturing her true beauty. I'm big enough to admit when I've made a mistake, and by posting less than flattering shots of AC Ula, I was mistaken indeed. It's time I set that right and do good by her! Let's get started...

Bold yellow eyeliner and shadow? Check! Shimmering taupe topper shadow? Check! Random bright red divider line? Check! My heart stolen by all this? Check!

Ula's shoes have some wonderful molding: grids, studs, skullettes, swirling platform soles, and even paint brush accents. Unfortunately too few of these beautiful details are actually painted.

I'm sure you guys already know this but just to be safe I'll point out that Ula's scarf isn't part of this doll's outfit. I just threw it in there because I think it really works with the rest of the look.

Speaking of, Ula wears a retro, lemonade-striped top with sleeves that end at her elbows in pink netting. A large pink bow adorns the swoop collar. The top attaches to a black bell skirt featuring a lemonade paint splatter print. It ends in yellow netting, a nice contrast to the netting of her sleeves.

She also wears a yellow headband featuring two small bows on each side, a subtle kawaii nod. Her earrings are solid pink skullettes.

Around her waist is a pink apron with black grid print. It ties in back with simple black ribbon.

Judging by the 2014 dolls, including this particular Ula, the 50's will be to 2014 what the 60's were to 2013. Picture this outfit in Operetta's colors and you'll see what I mean.

I don't know what I love more: that bold, lively faceup, or those bold, lively streaks in her hair. Draculaura has yellow streaks y'all! And not just any yellow -- we're talking loud, bold, electric yellow. LOVE IT.

Yep, we've got the 50's on our hands, folks! Grab a Coke float and your old lady, we're going to the sock hop! Or at least it looks like Ula is! Also, it appears she'll be taking occasional breaks from doing the twist to paint some portraits.

Hopefully I'll get to scan and post Ula and the other AC dolls' booklets soon. They're very clever in how they each tell one part of a larger story. Plus they have some beautiful artwork inside. There's even some minimal, but very fun, character development.

Like I said: Unicorn Ula. Magical and perfect.

She also comes with a heart-shaped palette and paint brush. And yes, if placed correctly, she can hold these items on her own! She also comes with her framed self portrait, but I'm kinda ditzy and forgot to get a pic of it. It's pretty nice, coming in a frame with stand, and done in a humorous Picasso style.

Art Class Draculaura, aka Unicorn Ula. (Yes, from now on that's what I'll be calling her. It's fun! Care to join me in this zany endeavor?)

Til next time!

Review: New Scaremester Jinafire Long

Picture it: Japan, 1990. A certain cone bra-wearing pop star is set to open her world tour at Chiba Marine Stadium, but torrential downpours are quite literally putting a damper on things. What to do -- cancel the show or soldier on somehow? To quote said pop star, "Just put on your Vogue costume. Put your jacket on and that's your costume for the night." And the show went on. Today's review is my Vogue costume and jacket. There aren't nearly as many pictures as usual for this review, and they're not as specific to what I'm critiquing. Between the two teasers I posted you've actually already seen many of these. But it's been storming 'round here lately (metaphorically, of course), and a full scale photo shoot just wasn't in the cards. Luckily the written portion should be about on par with the usual reviews. (Oh, and if you want to see the 1990 tour in question, just watch Truth or Dare. That or take a look at pretty much anything Lady Gaga has ever "created". Zing!) Anyway, on with the review!

Back when Jinafire Long and Skelita Calaveras were introduced via last year's Scaris: City of Frights themed line, many -- including myself -- wondered if we would ever see these characters in doll form again. And beyond that, we wondered if/when new dolls came, would they be basics or themed dolls? Although the Scaris dolls did feel strongly tied to that line, they also seemed kind of basic-y, you know? As we now know, Skelita has returned in the form of an Art Class doll. And even more excitingly, Jinafire is back, too -- and she is indeed a new signature/basic doll!

As part of the New Scaremester line, Jinafire has transferred to Monster High alongside Catrine DeMew. Clawdeen is their Goodwill Ambassador, helping them acclimate to the exciting new world they're entering. Rather than a diary, Jina comes with a planner that includes a map of the school and a minimalist, but very pretty, centerfold of doodles. Probably my favorite thing about Jina's planner, however, is the cover itself. An oval frame contains a drawing of that devilish little monster face we saw on her Scaris doll's headpiece, and the frame is topped by a skullette featuring scales on it's "scalp". It's very cute.

Being a designer, Jina has a good eye not just for clothes but also accessories and makeup. This comes through on both of her dolls. For her relocation to Monster High, Jina wears bold green eyeliner that encircles the eye. It splits dramatically at the outer edge, mimicking the fins of her tail. It is surrounded by matte eyeshadow in lime. Her wine-colored lips have a moderate shine to them, a nice contrast to the lime and lemon striped irises of her eyes. As expected, her pupils are a vertical slit -- she's a dragon, after all. The two-tone green eyeshadow and liner is a bold choice and stands out just a tad more than her Scaris doll's purple eyeshadow. It's also the first of many instances of that Scaris purple being replaced by various hues of green. Perhaps most importantly, the shadow matches her irises to a "T", and combined with her green hair give Scaremester Jina a slightly more realistic -- in doll terms -- dragon vibe.

Speaking of hair, Jina's comes in the same colors as her Scaris doll's hair -- bold green with thin black streaks. It actually seems to have the same part as her Scaris doll: on her left, with the right-hanging portion banded in front of her ear. However, I never took my Scaris doll's hair down so I can't say that with 100% accuracy. All of Jina's hair has been pulled into a thick ponytail to her back-right. Unlike the Scaris doll, NS Jina's hair has an ever-so-mild wave throughout. Like her outfit, this hairstyle is equal parts formal and casual.

Jina's strength as a designer is seen in her ability to use prints that feel vintage and modern at the same time, and in cuts that are hip but never "trend-chase-y". Jina's clothes always feel classic to me. Her top, for instance, takes cues from Halston, but with the eclecticism of von Furstenberg. Black ribbon featuring a print of shining gold, abstract flames and spikes wraps her neck from her right. It gives way to a smooth knit of lime emblazoned with diagonal, purple flames. Thick, black ribbon featuring the same print as the neck piece hugs her torso. The top is paired with ruby red, denim-look pants. The red is shiny except for punk-inspired dry splotches scattered throughout. Midway down the shin the red denim gives way to a much softer material featuring a grid of black hearts against a shining gold backdrop. In a clever touch, this heart print closely resembles dragon scales. The only problem I have with these pants is the same problem I have with all MH denim-look pants: it's virtually impossible to keep the Velcro fastened. Especially when you have her tail attached. But no matter, these things are gorgeous! They match the top well thanks to the black and gold, while the contrast of the ruby red with the lime and purple of the top keeps everything eclectic and funky. Mmm, couture -- you do it so well when you really try, Mattel. Kudos!

Each of Jina's worn accessories all come in one solid color, a choice that could be seen as a disappointment until you realize that going all paint-happy on them probably would've made the overall look a little too busy. Her earrings are orange and come in the shape of Chinese lanterns. There is some moderately detailed molding encircling the bulb. Her shimmering, emerald heels rest on the hooves of fully molded qilins. These are beautiful shoes but they're a bit squishy and I have trouble keeping them on her feet. Otherwise -- yeah, they're pure win. Matching them is her simple beaded bracelet. We've seen these a million times now. Still, it's better to have this simple piece than no bracelet at all. And it plays perfectly with her lime top and bold hair.

Jina carries an orange purse with small gold embellishments that's shaped like a fan. It features a black shoulder strap that rotates in its sockets. And yes, the purse does function! Hooray! Her last accessory is an orange Trapper-Keeper style folder (are we back in Picture Day?), with a dramatic gold dragon dancing across the front. It snaps in back under a skullette tab.

Overall: It ain't all sunshine and roses. As I mentioned, keeping her pants Velcro'd is nigh impossible and her shoes have a knack for falling off almost constantly. Her tail doesn't always stay in as it should, either. Although she has all those same wonderfully creative body mods that blew my mind on her Scaris doll, overall NS Jina feels just a tad cheaper. The plastic feels lighter, the shimmer of her skin just a little less luminescent. Okay then, so what's good about this doll? Everything else. She has a bold faceup that cleverly plays on her dragon theme and smartly matches her hair and elements of her outfit. And about that outfit -- wow! I adore the playful prints, the lux textures. It works perfectly as a signature outfit for a fashion designer. It's couture done in a light, casual way. If I were to ever meet a Chinese dragon girl in real life I can't picture her in anything else but this, it all works so perfectly. Indeed, I would hope this is exactly what she would be wearing. (And that she'd think I'm totally cool and wanna hang out. Hey, I ain't ashamed to admit I'd wanna be this girl's BFF!) Even though overall I prefer her Scaris doll, New Scaremester Jinafire is a more than worthy followup. Color me pleased.